I do not miss myself younger
	My terrible hunger / My unspecified want
                  
I miss only the moment at the party 
             where everyone knows the words 

Each aloneness collected 
              Each shut eyelid in chorus

I could go back / go again / I won’t
	so I miss it / The dark blue 

Against our faces & bodies / The song
	You had to be there

Low cushions / Low chairs
	& everyone a little in love

(J turning the lights on mid-slow song 
	because he just had to read us a poem)

The slow song / The summer it came out
	You had to be there 

How can it be that I am gone
             My body anonymous in the dark 

Soft sway against my friends
	(L running into the street without her shoes)

It makes my throat ache to think of it 
             I was there / I can’t believe it

There is no there beyond it 
             Outside it / After it  

& here I am 
	After / & there still

I look down and my body is gone
My friends are gone but somewhere here 
inside this mist 
Heavy and white as fabric
The smoke surrounding us like a skirt
Inside it we are one animal 
And I give it willingly 
My miserable individuation
The hours spent tending my thoughts 
like little illnesses 
My head throbs and I welcome it 
this ache of ready solution 
Paper cup against my lips 
and water in my throat
Water in the mist air 
cooling our hot faces  
And above us the orbs in their nets 
like moons of many colors 
I am more here than I have been anywhere
With my gone body underneath the night 
Gone bodies of my loves beside me somewhere
My loves, your wet foreheads like stars 
I promise always to look for you